Raising children is hard! Leesha is such a wonderful child and I enjoy raising her, but she has a definate way of challenging me to really step out of the box and get out of regular disicpline routines. Let me explain, rules are rules right? Well not with her, her character has a " I don't care" attitude. She is a mixture of Charlie and I both (she looks like me but acts like dad, so I thought). Today I called my mil and was asking for help in teaching Leesha that it's not ok to lie. Here are some of the details--yesturday she had to clean her room, so she comes downstairs and tells me she's done, I didn't give it much thought nor did I go check it. So last night she stays all night with my mom and when I go upstairs I see that she had done nothing to her room, my mil was telling me that there's time Leesha will put wrappers of something she had in places where they are not suppose to go and then tell mamaw that she didn't do it. So I was doing some reading today and found that sometimes lying is associated with adhd. Is this the problem or am I? I look back at the many conversations that I 've had with her and there is alot of times that I don't believe what she says, I was raised that trust and respect is something that's earned not giving. Quickly finding out that children don't have the resources "built" into their character to earn respect that's something that needs to be taught. So does telling the truth so trust is something that they don't have the built in resources to gain unless their taught. Now this has been going on the Leesha for along time, especially since she started school. I know she struggles at school alot and they have tested her for adhd but I'm not sure that this is the problem. I don't believe she has adhd,alot of her problem is not being able to focus because I've never forced the issue. She perfers to act as though she doesn't stuggle in school. How did my 9 year old learn to not face the truth? What exactly have I taught her? There is a difference between imagination and not being able to deal with what is really going on. I know she doesn't want to do the extra work this summer that she has to do to get ready for this coming school year, but I struggled in school too and my mom and dad done nothing to get me some extra help, sure I had to take speech class (in shool) sure I had a summer tutor before enterin into my junior year in math ( the tutoring was done by my math teacher and was free cuz I would babysit for her). That was all the help I had and according to my kindergarten report card that I looked at a couple of weeks ago I was struggling then, just like Leesha. So this is what I mean by "so I thought she was like her daddy". I'm finding that when it comes to school Leesha is just like me but we are getting that corrected by this website that I found for her where it allows her to go back through second grade cirriculum and she also started on the third grade to stay ahead. I think that if she already knows how to do the work it'll give her more confidence in the classroom. Where did that go, her confidence? I'll tell ya where, something as simple as a sticker on a paper she was promised in kindergarten one day for doing a paper, well she never got that sticker. It started then of her just putting things down to finish the paper, right or wrong. I was reading an article on christian mommies website (http://www.christian-mommies.com/ageless/handle-emotions/dealing-with-lying-the-dos-and-donts/) that stated that lying is a call for help. Oh my gosh my child needs my help, I feel as though I've left her standing by herself with me no where in sight! So this morning I called my mom and told her to get Leesha up that I was coming over to pick up sooner than I was suppose too and guess what, I get there and my mom starts telling me how wrong I am for correcting her about lying to me about her room. WHAT????? Are you kidding me? So of course this is said within ear shot of Leesha and so she thinks it's wrong that she had to come home. Why oh Why???? But then again I never got support growing up so why would I think I would get it as an adult? Silly me! Well Leesha just went upstairs to clean her room and we'll have to see what happens. I told her on the way home that I love her, but there are consequences for not doing what we are asked to do, so I took her tv away for 2 days (for lying) and a week if she doesn't get her room cleaned up the right way. I set the timer for 1 1/2 hours (she's like her mommy, she'll lollygag all day on it if she has the oppertunity) and if it's not done right she looses the tv for a week also. There I'm trying to teach her time framing like she has in school for her school work. There were alot of papers that she brought home where the problems she did was correct but she was unable to finish the paper within a certain time so the ones she wasn't able to get done is what brought her grade down. Please pray that God gives me and her both strength to get this corrected.
Have a blessed day!
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